The children are coming. That's right...school is out at the end of this week. The panic is already gripping me like I would a greasy pork sandwich. What to do?? MONTHS of time to fill with things you hope are stimulating and fun for tiny people who still think Pop Tarts are good for you. We have a go-to, clutch spot that is both inexpensive and fun...for all of us! I found it when I first moved to Columbus, and would spend my mornings riding from my German Village spot out to explore the new home town. I am surprised how many folks don't know about this little gem just about thirty minutes north of downtown, between 315 and 33 off of Home Road. The portion of 33 from Emerald Parkway north up to and past Home Road is a pretty nice ride, but I quickly found out why I never see anyone riding on that highway south of there. Ugh.
I lied a LITTLE when I said it was inexpensive. The actual attractions are really reasonable (mini-golf, the cavern tour, gem panning, etc.)...it's the gift shop that kills you. If you are weakened by the constant whining of the little ones, like a blanket of Kryptonite rocking Superman to sleep..you may need to bring the credit card. A menagerie of Native American reproductions are available for purchase. Arrows, gem stones, 'coon skin caps, all of it...is just within reach of slender and ice-cream-sticky fingers. I recommend the fake-feather headdress (pictured).
The cavern tour is our favorite. It starts with a short walk down to the OTHER gift shop that sits above the cave entrance. A long, wet, and steep set of stairs takes you about one hundred and twenty feet below the surface. The temperature drops to a cool fifty eight degrees. Perfect on a sub-tropical Ohio summer day. It's wet down here, so don't bring good shoes or white shorts..they won't stay nice OR white for too long. Mention to the kids the difference between stalactites and stalagmites..then giggle as they try to repeat those words. Tee-hee..
The Cathedral Room (pictured) has an enormous underground lake below it, and swimming in it's inky depths are sightless cave fish. Turns out, eyes are kind of useless when there is absolutely no light whatsoever. Look to the large walls in this room for fossils! Be sure to press the buttons on the voice boxes in each room, they are very informative and interesting.
Before we also turned into sightless cave dwellers, we ascended the treacherous staircase back to the land of light. Just outside the lower gift shop lies a long flume, water descending a set of stairs with sluice boxes at the ready. You can either buy bags of gems and sand to sluice, or just get down at the end and scoop up the sediment at the bottom for free..the gems will be smaller, but it's way more fun to get dirty. The water is cool to the touch on a ninety degree day and is a nice spot to hang out for a while.
Miniature Golf is also available (according to the sign along the road, it's actually "Miniture" golf) for a pretty slim price..about 3.50 per person. Ask for an extra ball, as the course is surrounded by poison oak and you don't want to chase after any errant ball. The course gets progressively more challenging, and the cheesy native motif is sure to anger just about every tribe on the continent..but it is admittedly fun.
With the mid-day sun beating down on us, we retreated to the gift shop for some post-golf ice cream before heading to the pool. Pack a lunch and hang out for the Wild West shoot-out show on the far side of the park! Plan at least a couple of hours, and be sure to scope out a new road bike route while north of the zoo..it's fun and rural out there, and the roads are in great shape. See ya in the caves!





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